Ghanaian journalist and politician, Elizabeth Ohene, in an open letter, has reimagined the burial of the late South African Anglican bishop and theologian, Desmond Tutu in a typical Ghanaian setting . In the letter, Elizabeth Ohene considers what would have happened if Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s death and funeral had he been from Ghana.
According to Elizabeth Ohene, if ever there was someone who deserved the adjective “world-famous” it was Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu. According to her, when Desmond Tutu died, it was agreed that the world had a lot to learn from his tumultuous life and the decidedly low-key manner of his funeral.
Touting Ghana as the “funeral capital of the world”, Elizabeth noted that the feeling was one of dismay and puzzlement that such a famous person could die and be buried within a week and with such little fanfare. According to Elizabeth, Ghanaians would have been pondering what they would have done faced with the death of such a famous person.
“He certainly would not have been buried within six days of dying. It would have taken at least that long for the family to agree on the composition of the delegation that would go to formally inform the president of the republic of the sad passing of the illustrious son of the land”.
Elizabeth Osei
Elizabeth Ohene describing in detail how Desmond Tutu would have been buried noted that Tutu’s instructions for a modest funeral would have been ignored and his family members would give him what they call “a befitting funeral”. She explained that all the family needed to do to overturn a dead man’s wishes is to “pour libation to the ancestors” and that “He would certainly not have been buried in that plain pine casket”.
Elizabeth further touched on the attire that would have been worn during the funeral. According to her, “it would be obligatory that a special cloth be designed with the archbishop’s photo and that would have taken some time”. According to Elizabeth, there would be the black-and-red version of the cloth which would be worn on the day of the funeral service and a black-and-white version to be worn on the Sunday for the thanksgiving service.
“We would try and place the orders for the manufacture of the cloth at a local factory, but it would probably end up in China. Our tailors and seamstresses would be terribly busy”.
Elizabeth Ohene
Thousands need to be fed
In Elizabeth’s letter, she noted that a funeral committee would have to be formed, sub-committees in charge of hospitality – a synonym for food and drink, which always takes the largest chunk of the funeral budget. According to her, for someone like Tutu, thousands would need to be fed.
“Concessions to Covid would be made and reluctantly the grand buffet tables weighed down with food would be abandoned and we would have to provide takeaway packs for the crowds instead”.
Elizabeth Osei
Speaking on the publicity committee, Elizabeth detailed that they would make sure mega billboards with photos of the archbishop were erected at all major junctions in all cities. She further noted that the committee in charge of the funeral brochure would produce a “glossy 100-plus-page booklet” with his biography and tributes from world leaders and anyone who had ever sat in the same room with him. And of course, there would also be photographs documenting 90 years of a life well-lived.
“It takes a while to put this brochure together – nobody ever meets the deadline for the submission of the scripts for the tributes. Putting together an obituary notice takes immeasurable skill, which if not handled properly will lead to a family feud”.
Elizabeth Osei
Elizabeth Ohene went on to state that the idea of only one choir being at the service would be quite intolerable and they would have numerous choirs and singing stars to perform, even if it meant the service would take four hours.
According to Elizabeth, it might mean that the body would have to be kept in the morgue for about three months to get the arrangements in place. However, that would be the least period to keep a body “without giving the impression you are burying a nonentity”, according to her.
A funeral is meant to be a show
Elizabeth gave details of how the remains of Desmond Tutu would have been carried. According to her, the scene of a line of Anglican clergy dressed in their robes and carrying Tutu’s coffin was touching “but we think we could improve on that with our famous singing-and-dancing pallbearers putting up a show”.
Elizabeth then noted that maybe Ghanaians would have agreed to Desmond’s request for his body to be aquamated, “just to show we were sensitive to environmental needs”. However, Elizabeth believes that next time there is such a death, Ghanaians should be consulted to give a befitting funeral.
“We are world leaders in funerals and are happy to share our expertise”.
Elizabeth Ohene
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